The Colbert Report/Episode/525
Production Info |- |} |- |} Intro SEGMENT1 * Dr. Colbert wonders why he doesn't have more Bollywood dance numbers in his show * Steele is putting the GOP back on track ** he's gotten himself into trouble * Ada Fisher wants him to resign ** the sista is trippin'! ** or buggin' * Fisher is referring to Steele's promise to hip-hop-up the GOP * Steele has accepted Dr. Colbert's challenge twice * first in Politico.com ** the it has yet to be on-brought * In The New York Times he said he would accept * Grand Master, the key to winning the rap battle is showing up to the battle ** drop more science than a Kansas School board * he has left Dr. Colbert but to go gangsta ** Stephen sent a rhyme to M C Steele's actual email account (prepare to download, etc) ** along with great lawyer jokes * Stephen is not fronting; because he doesn't know what fronting means SEGMENT2 * Node Three of the International Space Station ** The Heroes followed Dr. Colbert's commands to vote for his name! * top of the write-in suggestions * their picks is lead by "Serenity" ** not a space module, its a Glade plug in ** Keep voting! * other countries are muscling in on our action * India has thrown its turban into the ring ** not content with stealing our Oscars, send astronauts to space in 2014 * Iran manned space flight by 2021 ** deny existence of the sun or attack Jew-piter * America is fighting back ** NASA sent up Kepler to look for Earth-like planets * Dr. Colbert cannot wait to taste Ewok * Uzbhekistan may send up interstellar goat * William Gerstenmaier (Bill) ** NASA official in charge of space station operations ** guested from Florida (an Earth-like planet) * will take a while to get to other possible Earth-like planets * Stephen says: "Do not stare at the sun, despite what NASA man says" * what a planet needs to be like Earth: ** needs water ** right temperature ** out of this world taste of ** ground control to major yum * Gerstenmaier doesn't know who keeps probing Dr. Colbert when he goes camping * no worry that the shuttle will hit space geese ** will strap a scarecrow to the shuttle ** they do have a stuffed owl to scare woodpeckers * holding an online vote on what to name Node 3 * will commit to naming module after Colbert if he wins ** they think too much SEGMENT3 * Dr. Colbert read something recently ** drink more than 7 cups of coffee a day more likely to see ghosts *** Dr. Colbert rides the brown horse * drinks several cups before going to sleep at night (to make it through all the boring dreams) ** Starbucks installed beneath The C-Desk *** they're out of toilet paper * Dr. Colbert's sudden-mid show McCartney Crashes are countered with the Demon Bean ** he was driniking decaf! * M. Night Shyamalan Brand Coffee ** starts good, then gets stupid Interview * Dr. Jay Keasling * microbiologist trying to find ways to burn energy * with the Joint Bio-Age (something, something) ** sleeps under mylar blankets * engineer bacteria to make fuel ** he is a mad scientist who plays God * stood over a boiling beaker saying "Those fools at the academy" * synthetic biology been around for 35 years * turn sugar to ethanol (God beat him) * two microbes ** turns pulp into sugar ** takes sugar turns it into fuel (or drugs) * cheap anti-malaria drug ** a hydrocarbon * injecting gas into third world babies * staphylococcus (or yeast) will fly planes ** yeast infections will be good (not just a burning sensation) * will be done on a huge industrial scale (not in your backyard) * paper waste, plant waste, animal waste ** cars that run on poop * microbial fuel Epilogue * Dr. Colbert reminds The Heroes, if you're watching this in your bed with your spouse, you will see him in court! ** he is suing you for making him an unwilling participant in your freaky three-way! Gallery Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments